


Good Little Boy

by Dancingqueen17



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Child Abuse, F/M, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-03-07 01:15:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18862774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dancingqueen17/pseuds/Dancingqueen17
Summary: When Sirius gets shot with the killing curse in the Department of Mysteries, his life flashes before his eyes.





	Good Little Boy

**Author's Note:**

> I know it's shit, but like, enjoy I guess

His eyes were glazed over, he heard screaming. Then nothing. His mind raced through all his memories. Until they got to the beginning.

Sirius had to be perfect. Back straight. Chin up. Eye contact. Being the Black heir, perfection was expected, besides Walburga and Orion Black weren't very keen on flaws. Sirius had multiple bruises to prove it. Even for small things like opening the door for a guest had to be done with elegance. What were the Blacks if not elegant? 

Of course Sirius didnt really agree with his parents views on the world, or towards muggles in general. He was young, but he knew mudbloods didnt deserve to die, nobody deserved that. But he didnt have to agree, he only had to make them think he did. So he went along with the arranged dates and meetings. He smiled and was well behaved at family meals. He signed the contract to marry Aubrey Burke when he was of age. He was even tolerable at the monthly Death Eater get togethers that were held at his house. He was the perfect Pureblood child. People complemented him at parties. Regulus looked up to him. And his parents were proud of him. All he ever wanted was for them to be proud of him.

He had been preparing for Hogwarts since he was 3. He already knew more spells than most second years. He had put on his best robes and ran through the brick wall between the platforms. He had seen the crimson train and had been in awe. Sirius had found himself a nice car to sit in with his cousins, Bellatrix and Narsissia. They told him stories of the grand castle and the great feasts. Sirius was ready to see this grand castle with his own two eyes.

Sirius loved Hogwarts, and he hadn't even been there an hour. He loved the boat ride and the beautiful floating candles in the main hall. Anticipation swirled around him as he stood in line for the Sorting Hat. Bella and Narcissia shot him a thumbs up. He had a Slytherin themed party set up for him at home. He was so excited.

"Sirius Black!"

He stepped up to the stool and gently sat down. The hat was placed on his head. He thought all about Slytherin, and how every Black in the past 2 centuries was placed in Slytherin. He thought of his cousins. He thought of the beautiful green and silver banner his mother had put above his bed. He thought of the-

"Gryffindor!"

The main Hall was silent. His heart sank. He couldn't be a Gryffindor. He couldn't be.

"I can't be a Gryffindor. I'm a Slytherin. Can we try again. Please." He was losing his composure, but he didnt care.

The hat was put back on him. It grumbled for awhile before announcing Gryffindor again. And that was it. Sirius Black was a Gryffindor.

He was put in a dormitory with a blood traitor, and two halfbloods. Mother would not be pleased with that. But somehow blood traitor turned into James and halfbloods turned into Remus and Peter, they had become friends. Sirius found his parents views on things completely wrong. Sirius didn't even know if he wanted to be a Slytherin anymore.

When he went back home for Christmas he felt isolated. The hugs had turned to handshakes. The kisses to pats on the shoulder. He didnt get anymore complements. He didnt get anything. So he started to listen to muggle music and wear muggle clothes, because he wanted his parents attention. He craved it. They started off with slaps. Then punches. Then hexes and curses. But Sirius didnt care he needed attention. All he ever wanted was attention.

When he went back to Hogwarts he was bruised and beaten. His friends helped him cure the bruises. He had grown closer to his friends. He had found so much out about them. Remus was a werewolf, James liked Lily Evans, Peter loved sweets. They had even went so far as to change themselves into animagi for Remus. Sirius of course was a big black dog. He didn't like his animagi.

Sirius had been stuck in the same loop for years. Have a great year at Hogwarts then go home and get beat for the summer. Only this time he knew he didn't have friends to come back to. He had told Snape how to get to the Whomping Willow. He didn't have friends anymore. That's why in addition to the bruises he had there were cuts he had put there himself. But they eventually made up. Because that's what friends did. All Sirius ever wanted were friends like these.

After Hogwarts they all stayed close. James and Lily, who was pregnant, had bought a house. Remus and Peter had both found flats outside of London. And Sirius was stuck in Grimmaud Place. Life wasnt great, but it was ok. All he ever wanted was for life to be ok. 

Then the prophecy was told. And James, Lily, and their newborn son Harry had to move. Death Eaters were after them. Death Eaters that included his cousins and brother. Sirius decided he shouldn't be the secret keeper because he was too involved in this. So James chose Peter. And Peter told Voldemort. And Voldemort killed James and Lily. And Dumbledore blamed him. So he went to Azkaban for the murder of his two friends and Peter. And everyone believed he did it. Because he was a Black. Blacks are always in some kind of trouble. 

And there he rotted. For twelve years he rotted. Thinking about nothing but escape. Escape from himself. Then he did it. He escaped. He turned into his animagi and he ran. Then he found his old home empty. And mourned his families deaths, and kept moving. He knew he didnt have much time.

He had to find Harry. He knew they would be looking for him, but he had to explain himself. Harry didn't deserve this. It took him weeks, but he found him, and he explained himself. And Harry forgave him. He even saved Sirius from the Dementors Kiss. And Harry came to Grimmaud Place. And all was well. All Sirius ever wanted was for all to be well.

Then word got out that the prophecy was in the Ministry of Magic headquarters. The Order of the Phoenix had to get there first. So they went. And they fought hard. But then they came. He came. The boy he had sworn to protect. So he dodged curses for them both. And things were going fine. Until one hit him square in the chest and knocked him back, straight into the veil.

He saw her. His cousin, Bellatrix LeStrange. She looked purely insane. But deep in her eyes he saw remorse. At least she had been somewhat sorry. Then Sirius looked at Harry. The poor boy looked truly distraught. Sirius hoped Harry was proud of him. All he ever wanted was someone to be proud of him.


End file.
